How to Make Big Life Decisions: What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

We’ve all been there-you have a big decision to make and you are feeling the pressure to make a decision quickly.

These crossroads in life are familiar to most. Often, the road in which you choose could change your life. These decisions can come in the form of a big job change, a move to a new state, expansion of your family, buying a home, going back to school, starting your own business, or a plethora of other scenarios.

Let’s just call a spade a spade; making these big decisions isn’t the least bit easy.

In this post, you will find a quote that I believe God placed in front of me when I was making a big life decision and desperately needed guidance, along with four important steps to consider when making a big life decision.

I Didn’t Know What to Do…Then I Read This

A couple of years ago, I found myself at a crossroads. I kept going back and forth about the right path and how it would impact me and my family.

I was putting a ton of pressure on myself to make up my mind immediately. I could physically feel the weight of the decision on my shoulders. I was confused about which way to go. I felt so lost.

I hate to admit it, but in this situation I talked to everyone but God first. I talked to my hubby, mom, sisters, and discussed it with my closest friends. Although this is an important step to take when making a big life decision, I still didn’t find the kind of clarity I was looking for.

After carrying this heavy burden, I decided to pray. Finally, I asked God to intervene.

One of the most amazing experiences I have during prayer and meditation is when I experience God handpicking a piece of scripture or a devotional for me to read at that very moment that addresses my specific need at the time.

In this stressful situation, where I felt like a decision had to be made IMMEDIATELY, I opened up to the most perfect reading.

It read:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
Rainer Maria Rilke

Isn’t that beautiful? Everything I needed to hear, everything that brought my heart peace was in that little paragraph right there.

It was as if God placed this quote before me to assure me everything is going to be okay; and the answer does not need to be known right now. The answer may be revealed in the future, but to continue living in the present moment and trust that the answer will be revealed over time. This brought me so much peace!

“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible”
Mandy Hale

Granted, some decisions need to be made in a much quicker fashion. Maybe you’ve received a job offer and you are on a timeline to make a decision. Even then, consider using these 4 steps when facing life’s tough decisions.

1. Pray for Guidance

As I mentioned before, I was talking to everyone else around me — but our all-knowing God!

Once I began praying and listening, I truly felt like God gave me guidance about what to do next.

And that answer was to wait.

For big decisions that cannot wait, I believe if you invite God to guide you, he will, even on a strict timeline. He may give you a gut feeling that will lead you down the right path, he may place a piece of scripture or a quote in front of you to read, or he may place a loved one in your path to help talk you through your decision.

Whatever it may be, I truly believe God will place subtle signs in your path to gently guide you to the right decision.

“It takes courage to place our questions before God in prayer. It takes patience to wait for the answers which are sometimes given to us in prayer and sometimes answered through other people and the experience of daily life, it takes wisdom to live the answers we discover”.
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2. Seek Guidance Through Trusted Friends and Family

I want you to think about the family and friends in your life that you can talk to that will listen carefully to you and help guide you through your decision. These are people that want nothing but the best for you and have been encouragers for you throughout your life.

Perhaps you can schedule a coffee date or a block of time to discuss your options on the phone.

If you aren’t ready to talk to family and friends, you could always talk with a pastor at your church. They are impartial in your decision-making process and can help guide you towards a knowledgable decision.

3. If It’s Right for You, You Won’t Have to Force It To Happen

I truly believe if something is God’s will and is meant to happen in our lives, doors will open up for us.

You may find the perfect house that has been sitting on the market for months in the town you are looking to move in, a friend of a friend might be working at the new job your are seeking and is offering his/her help if you accept the position, or you meet a new friend that becomes a mentor to help start your new business. Whatever it may be, God will help place little stepping stones to make your decision a little bit easier.

On the opposite end, if it’s not meant to be, he may close doors to give you hints to head the other direction. Some examples might look like: your house not selling; an intuitive feeling that something feels off; or an unexpected person guiding you the other way. Depending on your situation, these types of scenarios may pop up to steer the opposite way. God’s will flows into your life; it will not be forced and will not be difficult. It will come naturally.

I am so grateful that surrender has taught me to willingly participate in life’s dance with a quiet mind and an open heart.
Michael A. Singer

4.Live in the Now Until the Answer Comes

It is so easy to get boggled down by stress and worry of a big decision. But, my friends, rest in the assurance the God will lead you towards the right decision. So in the meantime, while you’re waiting for an answer, allow him to do the heavy lifting and he will lead you down the right path. Live and enjoy what is happening in the now and God will show you the way for the future.